Your uni life summed up in emojis

July 17, 2015
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While some (old) people maintain that emojis are sending humanity back to their caveman origins and consequently replacing the written word with primitive iconography, there’s no doubt they’ve become a staple of digital interaction. So to celebrate World Emoji Day (yes, that’s a thing, and yes, it’s today) we decided to explain your uni life using humanity’s latest iteration of Stone Age hieroglyphics.


That feeling you get on the first day of semester; stationary refreshed, mind swept clean by alcohol consumption, deliciously naïve sense of optimism still unspoiled by academic reality.

It’s also the feeling you get anytime you make a Horatio Cane-worthy pun. For example:

“Do you study chemistry?”

“I guess you could say… periodically.”

YEAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

When you get to uni early and see more than one available parking space. Also the only appropriate response to a really good Horatio Cane pun.

Halfway through your first day back, already daydreaming about your sweet break-time existence.

The staple of any respectable student's diet.

When the lecturer says, “I think that’s enough for today,” - which is basically academic speak for, “Fuck it, I have reds to sample,” - and lets you out an hour early. One of the few feelings actually comparable to sex.

Not doing the readings, participating in the tute anyway, and getting away with it. This is undoubtedly the sweetest kind of subterfuge.

When you find another person in your tute who also likes Jane Austen, anime, Harry Potter, or whatever cultural meats comprise your particular nerd-burger. Nothing bonds people together faster than being sniggered at by an entire study group.

Working hard so you can grow up and provide for your own little family – which then appears to be possessed by Samara from The Ring, I guess.

The bro fist: the calling card of university bro life, which is mainly bro-ing out on the bro-lawn with the brochachos. Then it’s time to head back to the bro-cave for brewskies, Chris Pratt worship and video games. No girls allowed, unless of course the girl in question is also a bro – minimum requirements include Call of Duty competence, ultimate Frisbee enthusiasm, and a firm resolve to never harsh a fellow bro’s mellow.

Trawling your uni’s StalkerSpace is an integral part of the academic experience. Not only is it a source of valuable information you won’t find in any subject guide (such as the best computer lab for making out in), it also offers other thrills – like tracking down that noisy douche from your lecture, seeing that he has a car for his profile picture, and suddenly feeling a lot more sophisticated.

We’re not exactly sure what this emoji is supposed to mean, but we assume it’s when you’re in a lecture and the cat sitting next to you just won’t shut the fuck up about their relationship.

Joel Svensson

Business major, journalism minor and sometime voice-actor, Joel Svensson pretends to be smart at La Trobe University in Melbourne.

Image: GetEmoji.com

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