Why you don’t have to be single to find yourself in your 20s

May 09, 2017
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It seems every one of my friends has the same “original” opinion when it comes to being in a relationship – apparently, it’s not for your 20s. Travel, ‘me-time’ and self-exploration are things the majority of my friends think are hindered when you have a partner. But finding yourself and being in a relationship is not a trade off. You don’t need to be single to enjoy being young, here’s why.

You have a number one fan

I can’t even begin to calculate of all the ideas I gave up in my life before I met my main man because I didn’t have someone constantly there supporting me. Best friends are great in this department, but I can’t stress how much having a partner by your side being your number one fan for all your thoughts, ideas and endeavours is the bees knees.

It’s “I want to write a piece for Hijacked” and it’s a “Fuck yeah you’ll nail it!” even before 8am. Having someone thinking you’re the bomb and genuinely wanting you to succeed in all your ideas is a big, big plus to believing in yourself and just generally being pretty stoked about being you. I don’t want to diminish gal pals here, but partners need some credit too.

You get plenty of #MeTime, you just get to round it off at night with a good ol’ snug

Forget the common misconception that millennials are lazy (because it’s just plain wrong). We are busy af and committed to our passions. I run around working, uni-ing, prepping meals, cooking, yoga-ing – you bloody name it. Just like my partner. If I find myself at home at 2pm on a Tuesday, chances are he won’t be there and I’ll get some lady time (if you know what I mean). The only main difference here between my friends and me is at the end of a crazy af day, I get to fold my body into a spoon shape around my best friend when the sun goes down.

All boy (or girl) drama is second-hand

“HE DELETED YOU OFF FACEBOOK? WHAT AN IMMATURE ASSHATE” I scream over smashed avo at weekly brunch with the girls. Group chats and threads follow this with my dearest and closest relishing in boy/girl drama, but then I get to go home and pop my partner’s back pimples and leave the drama at the door.

All my boy/girl single life drama is second-hand and I get to put it at rest at night instead of letting it keep me up. No matter what you say or who you are, drama-rama is part of your life, happily single or not. Trust me, I’m a lot happier working through relationship problems with my boyfriend then I ever was chasing guys on the playground.

There’s more focus on me, because I already found someone

A constant opinion circulating around 20-year-olds is that you need to be single to find yourself. I can tell you, this is not always true. Being single can definitely be an asset to this process, but it doesn’t have to be. I spend 0 per cent of my time wondering where my soul mate is, or when I’ll meet them. The time I save in this department I dedicate to just being happy where I am, with who I’m with.

If you’re friends with someone in a long-term relationship and you constantly tell them how you just prefer being single in your 20s because you want to truly find yourself, start telling someone else because they are sick to death of hearing it. They’re most likely pretty damn happy just the way they are.

Marnie Vinall

Marnie is a Marketing and Media Communications student at Monash University. She loves reading, writing and her huge collection of plant friends.