Why making the first move isn’t “thirsty”

March 15, 2017
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Right next to “lower your standards”, the words “play it cool and hard to get” is quite possibly the worst piece of dating advice anyone can ever give or take. Mostly directed at females, this ancient piece of so called “wisdom” implies that if a girl wants to go on a date with a guy, rather than clearly expressing her feelings, the girl should go around dropping various flirtatious hints and wait for the guy to make a move. Why?

For those who decide to go against the status quo and ask a boy out, words with negative connotations like “thirsty” and “desperate” get thrown around, making it extremely intimidating to make the first move. But the thing is, making the first move and asking a boy out, is not the desperate actions of a hopelessly thirsty AF girl. It’s actually a very liberating and exciting thing to do, and here are two reasons why.

Time and energy efficient

To be frank, you simply cannot force someone to like you. No matter how much time and effort you put into flirting and dropping hints (and it can be a lot), at the end of the day, you can’t force attraction. You just can’t.

So how do you find out if a boy is interested and worth your precious time and effort? Just go for it and ask him. It’s not being desperate, it’s called good time management.    

Boost of confidence

It might sound like a cliché, but facing your fear is the best way to increase your self-confidence. And when it comes to the social aspects of life, asking someone out for the first time is one of the scariest thing you’ll ever do. At least, that’s what it feels like in the moment when you’re bravely sticking your neck out and staring rejection dead in the eye. And everybody fears rejection. That’s why dating and making the first move feels so intimidating. However, it’s also the reason why the reality of asking a boy out is far less horrifying than you imagine it to be.

Look at it this way, if you’re thinking about asking a boy out, chances are, he’s a decent and respectful human being. Why else would you want to spend more time with him? And no decent boy worth your time is ever going to make you feel like shit for asking him out. So just do it. Face your fear and ask him out.

Worst case scenario...

The absolute worst case scenario is that he’ll turn you down, but it won’t feel as harsh as you expect. After all, he’s probably all too familiar with the anxious feelings that come with asking someone out. So, he’s bound to be kind about it. And though in the moment you may feel discouraged, the next time you decide to ask a guy out, it will be so much easier.  As for the other scenario? Well, you get to go on a date with your crush!   

Either way, asking a guy out for the first time is guaranteed to make you feel like the ultimate #BossLady who takes life into her own hands and wastes no time doing it.  

Zaya Altangerel

Zaya is a current student of journalism and science at Monash University, who has proudly mastered the art of laughing at herself and not taking life too seriously.

Image: What If official Facebook page