Why leaving the party alone is the best (and definitely not pathetic)

February 03, 2017
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One of the best methods of afternoon procrastination is the TV game show The Chase. It’s a game of individual intelligence and group strategy where you only know the fate of the prize money in the final seconds of the episode. It reminds me a lot of going out when you’re single. Going out is a game of individual intelligence and group strategy where you never know the fate of your night until the last few moments. But, with both of them, the value is in the chase. Be it for a novelty-sized cheque or the hottie you know from your Economics tute, the “will we, won't we” game is addictive.

When you’re young and adventurous (read: have energy to dress up and socialise with other humans), the success of a night out can depend on who you leave with, who you exchange numbers with or who you hook up with on the dance floor. Once your age is closer to 25 than 20 (read: probably on your second degree and live in trackpants), the chase starts to lose its appeal and you realise leaving a party alone is a 10/10 move.

You realise people’s true intentions

Let’s say you’ve been chatting to someone over a beer. The banter is great, there’s a lot chemistry and it’s nearing the end of the night. Next step? Leave. Start walking/get an Uber/ride your penny-farthing home and don’t look back. If the spark was really there, 99.9 per cent of the time you’ll get a message asking you where you are or if you want to catch up again. If their intentions were less sincere, you’ll know by the radio silence coming through that you’ve avoided a potential D-bag.

You get the D-floor to yourself

It’s always super awkward having to hang out with the person you just got with on the dance floor. What if they’re a terrible dancer? Or the DJ is blasting your favourite tunes and you can’t release your inner fan girl for fear of judgement? I can’t imagine anything worse. By accepting your mono-status and embracing it, you’re open to a lot more fun and opportunity to be spontaneous. Did I mention you also don’t have to awkwardly kiss their sweaty dance floor face? #winning.

It's empowering

The rush you get from winning the chase does not compete with the rush of empowerment as you leave the party alone. It’s an instant chin-lifter. You feel untouchable – because you are. Your fun and self-worth is not determined by the romantic pursuits you successfully accomplish. You can wake up the next morning knowing your reputation is unscathed too – unless you unleashed some killer solo dance moves last night. Then your reputation would be skyrocketing.

You get to put your PJs on ASAP

No more after-parties, “after-parties” or waiting until they’ve said goodbye to their mates. You leave when you want to leave. And that means optimal jammie time. You’ve been thinking about putting your PJs on since the start of the night anyway, planning exactly which tea you’ll have when you get into them (chai, obviously) and its oh so sweet when you do. No guy or girl could ever deliver this type of euphoria.

There’s so many reasons why embracing a loner status is amazing and I wish I realised it earlier. While your friends might be Tinder hunting, you can sleep tight knowing no one’s going to text you late at night when they need your love.

Danica Lamb

Danica is a Laws Masters kid at UWA. She enjoys cheap coffee and 80s pop music.

Image: How To Be Single official Facebook page

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