Why a FWB is the optimal relationship for your university years
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Whoever said that was surely single in their young adult university years. Sometimes you’re out dancing with a hot random you’ve just met, three tequila shots and five mixers deep and thanking the universe that you’re single. Other times, you have a horrible week and just want someone who cares about your life to ask you how you are and give you some TLC.
Here we find the magic of humanity, where people have compartmentalised their needs and wants and found the middle ground between independence and the desire for relationship perks: the friends with benefits relationship. For the young student, it’s the perfect kind of relationship to keep during your university years.
Sex on schedule
Remember that scene in No Strings Attached when Natalie Portman keeps sneaking off to Ashton Kutcher’s to have sex at random hours of the night and day? That is hands down the best aspect of a FWB relationship.
Got homework to do and dinner with mates? When it’s only about the sex, it’s completely acceptable to message “What you doing later?” and agree to meet up at 11pm. Get your work submitted on time, go have fun catching up with friends and then toddle off home for a rendezvous. An FWB is super easy to fit around your life.
Sex has multiple physical and mental benefits that are all extremely important for maintaining your wellbeing throughout the semester. People who have frequent sex have higher levels of immunoglobulin A (the antibody that prevents illness), which means a stronger immune system to help you avoid that fresher’s flu. Sex releases oxytocin (AKA the intimacy hormone) and endorphins, which of course increase happiness, decreaseS stress and even help you get a better night’s sleep. Now you know how to deal with the pre-exam or assignment anxiety.
No fuss no muss
Uni is an extremely turbulent time of balancing stressful workloads, social activities and money troubles. With so many things going on, the added stress of committing your time and focus to a relationship can be the last thing you have time for. Enjoy sex on tap without having to set aside days to go on dates, money for birthday gifts or fretting over meeting the parents.
While it is different for everyone, a FWB relationship involves coming to some sort of mutual understanding where you can define exactly what each of you want, which helps you to avoid any relationship drama. You don’t have to spend time second guessing or trying to figure out the relationship; it may be the only aspect of your life that you feel is actually under control.
Again, it depends on the exact rules you draw up, but a FWB allows you the freedom to remain single and continue to meet and experiment with new people. At its base, you guys are friends who hook up. There’s no expectation of monogamy unless you want there to be.
Discover your best sex
When you’re having one night stands, you never know how your sex experience will be. Will they be good, will they be bad or will they have some weird fetish? When you have continuous sex with one person, you figure out how to best please each other and experiment with new things in bed with someone that you’re comfortable with. It’s a great relationship in which to have great sex.
Grace studies Communications & Media at the University of Wollongong and is an avid fan of Harry Potter and coffee.