These are the relationship red flags you should watch out for

January 30, 2017
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Finding your bae can be a daunting task. The perfect combination of compatibility, chemistry, and general non-shittiness in a person is not easy to find. Then once you find them, the real challenge begins – fostering a relationship.

Unfortunately, compatibility and chemistry can only go so far. Relationships are built on various factors and can fail on just as many. Here are some ways to tell your relationship may be in hot water.

They keep you away from their life outside of you

One way of spotting that your partner is not a keeper is if they separate you from every other aspect of their life. Sure, they’ll tell you about their day in vague statements, but if you ask to meet their friends or family they’ll hastily change the subject.

Early on, this behaviour can be pinned down to waiting until you’re confident enough to share your new relationship status. But if a significant amount of time passes and you haven’t seen a whisper of their life (especially if you have brought them into yours), it’s time to reconsider whether they’re in it as much as you are.

They dont support you

A constant bed of support is perhaps one of the best parts of a relationship. No matter what, you know you have that one person to talk you through whatever’s on your mind. If you can’t find that in your partner, there may be something off.

This lack of support can be as big as frowning upon your career choices or as seemingly insignificant as turning their nose up at your hobbies. Basically, if you feel like you can’t be yourself around them, they may not be the partner you’re looking for.

You cant confide in them

Getting physically naked with someone is easy, but finding someone to be emotionally naked around is a whole other game. Cliché, I know.

Granted, this is no easy task. But you can’t build a relationship if you don’t have every line of communication open, including the deep stuff. So if you can’t see yourself trusting your partner with everything, you may need to keep searching.

They don’t respect your privacy

Just because you have nothing to hide, doesn’t mean you should disclose everything. A partner that is constantly over your shoulder or demands your call history is not going to produce a healthy relationship. Either they can’t trust you or they’re so obsessive they need to know absolutely everything you do all times of the day – neither of which is going to fly if you’re in it for the long term.

They try to control you

While a relationship usually takes priority over other commitments, there’s a fine line between honouring that priority and letting it consume you. If your significant other is trying to dictate what you wear, what you do, or who you see, you may have a third parent rather than a partner.

While this behaviour may be under the guise of “not wanting to lose you”, don’t be fooled. It demonstrates a lack of trust, an inability to acknowledge your autonomy and the warped idea that love means bending oneself to our partner’s every whim.

If you see any of these signs, do not ignore them. They may start off trivial but if you overlook them they will manifest into much bigger issues later on. Best to deal with them now and save yourself the heartbreak.

Kim Koelmeyer

Kim is and Arts (Journalism)/Law student at Deakin and deals primarily in memes and blogging.

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