These are the mistakes you’re making with your FWB
Friends with benefits are God’s gift to those desperate for a dose of MA15+ fun without having the strain of a relationship.
However, the alluring promise of simplicity often believed to accompany the relationship is a straight-up lie. FWB relationships are as complicated as they get.
Catching the unrequited feels is one of the many ways that FWBs can go wrong. And they can end up wreaking havoc on your friendship if you don’t approach with caution.
Here’s four mistakes to avoid if you’re seeking adult fun with no strings attached.
Choosing the wrong person
Before you become sex buddies with your mate, there’s more to consider than whether they turn you on (although, that’s important too).
Think about whether they’re willing to give you the same deal out of the relationship. If it’s just them using you to get off, then seriously, you’d be better prowling the club circuit.
Found yourself in a FWB relationship where the pleasure ratio is skewed? Try blasting Lily Allen’s ‘Not Fair’ in the bedroom and hope they’ll catch on. Or even better, have a convo about the current inequality you’re subjected to under the sheets.
Not ending it when you suspect feelings are changing
The whole FWB deal is going swell – except you have a sneaking suspicion that they like you a little more than friends.
If the feelings aren’t mutual, holding onto the relationship for your own selfish pleasure is a bit of a dick move.
Signs that they might be a bit in love with you include post-sex cuddles, holding your hand and getting jealous when you flirt with someone else.
These signs mean that it’s likely they’re after exclusivity that you haven’t agreed on. And often, even if they tell you they’re fine with it, they might be telling you that just so you won’t break it off.
Our advice: Trust your gut and bow out before the relationship gets ugly.
Letting other people’s opinions worry you
Your friends might think that FWBs never work out and you shouldn’t be in one. Good for them. It’s really no one’s business but your own.
If people around you fail to be open-minded and supportive of your life choices, they’re not worth having around.
There’s no shame in experimenting and trying out new relationships – as long as you’re safe and keep the communication going with your sex buddy. Do you, boo!
Forgetting to practice safe sex
Being young doesn’t mean you’re exempt from using protection because you’re allowed to be reckless.
Use a condom, take birth control and if you think your attempts of safe sex have failed, make sure you run to the chemist ASAP to get the morning after pill (which works up to three days after sex).
Get screened for STIs (both of you) and talk about how you plan on staying safe. Remember: taking control of your sex life is hot, smart and sex savvy.
FWBs can be a tangled web that lead to a ‘do-I-don’t-I like you’ confusion and the complex aftermath.
But so long as you keep the convo flowing and be open, making sure you’re both getting the lovin’ you deserve, you should be fine.
Go forth and experiment, frisky readers.
Eden is an International Studies/Media student at UNSW with a love for breakfast bagels and Louis Theroux.