The six stages of moving out of home

October 13, 2016
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Moving out is a big deal – emotionally, physically… and of course, financially. Everything important may seem done and dusted when you’ve sealed the deal, but then comes the actual moving out process. Dozens of empty cardboard boxes need to be found and years of untouched childhood relics need to be rediscovered or… thrown out. Or you could just build a fort out of all the cardboard boxes encasing you in a responsibility-free zone.

It’s a wild ride of emotion and here’s six of the stages you can expect.

Stage one: “I’m a strong, confident, independent adult.”

That’s right. It’s time to leave the nest, move forward and set sail on your teenage angst years, because you’re getting your own place. It may be shitty, it may already be filled with three other soon-to-be roommates but it’s yours – well partially yours but still yours.

Stage two: All the memz

So the sorting inevitably begins. This means digging into compartments, drawers and giant plastic tubs you haven’t touched since primary school. And what do you find? Brick sized Nokia phones, school reports from grade six, portfolios filled with your greatest childhood achievements, plastic medals from athletics days, soft toys from Maccas Happy Meals – the list goes on.

…the sorting will inevitably be hours longer than expected as you test every old toy you come across.

Stage three: All the feels

Even though you haven’t touched (or even thought about) half of the things you’ve unearthed, the feels start to kick in. One day you’re worried about being the last student to get their pen license, the next you’re moving out of home.

And then you start to think about your parents, your annoying but lovable sibling and your favourite furry friend. How could you possibly make it through a day of uni without a cuddle sesh with your dog or cat? And what about the goofy family chats over dinner and the saucy gossip sessions with siblings before you tuck in for the night?

It’s literally going to be a whole new world without them there.

Stage four: “This week on Hoarders Australia…”

And now with all the feels clouding your judgement: NOTHING WILL BE THROWN AWAY. Old toys, stamp collections and coin collections will suddenly be worth a helluva lot more than you thought. And your old videos, not DVDs, videos of Beauty and the Beast and Dumbo that are covered in a thin layer of dust aren’t going anywhere. It’s not even a question, you’re not throwing them or your Mr. Men books away, NEVER.

Stage five: Garage sale

After some parental lecturing, you harden up and start to cull. Old books from year ten English are definitely the first to go into the donate pile. Some odd pieces of artwork are sorted into the recycle stack, but not before you Snapchat some of them first. Even some old videos are regretfully given away… not all of them though – some you just have to keep for sentimental value.

Stage six: Bittersweet symphony

Think of that super relatable scene at the end of Toy Story 3 where Andy finally lets go of Woody and Buzz and drives off into the sunny distance. This will be you, standing in an empty room, realising that you’re about to leave a place you’ve spent your entire life in.

Apart from the low-key sadness at the high possibility of your room being transformed into a gym, in-house cinema or pool room, you’re excited for the future – whatever that might mean.

Steffanie Tan

Steffanie is studying a Bachelor of Journalism at Monash University and is horrible at bios and that is all that needs to be said. 

Image: New Girl official Facebook page

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