The moments private school kids go through when they start uni

July 14, 2017
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Private school kids can be a little bit odd. There are some weird habits picked up in those Hogwarts-looking schools of theirs, habits which never really leave them despite having graduated. And so, there are a couple of moments every ex-private school kid can expect to have as they make that inevitable transition into university.

That moment when you ask everyone what school they went to

Did you really go to a private school if you don’t casually drop it into conversation and use it as a basis for judging others, even years after you’ve graduated?

Whether you’re asking them as part of the weird private school mating ritual of flirting, or simply just to suss them out, this is a make or break question which can make us look like wankers to everyone else. Albeit sometimes unnecessarily, because we all know how to stop our fellow private schoolies a mile away.

That moment when you’re legit surprised that there are other laptops than MacBooks

Did you guys know that there’s laptops other than MacBooks? And that they can actually be used for uni? I know, it blew my mind too. Not everyone (or their parents) can drop $1000+ for a glorified Facebook machine. So just remember that, private school kids.

That moment when you need your unofficial uniform

Are you really an old private school boy if you don’t own RMs?

Or an old private school girl if you don’t own Mimco and/or a Camilla?\

And what’s the point of owning these unofficial uniforms if you don’t wear them to uni to signal that you went to a private school? Despite having strict uniforms for your entire schooling, your uni uniform is no joke, with branded items a must. Even if through exams your compulsory banded item drops to Bonds-branded trackies, the habit of wearing a uniform never really leaves you, it just evolves as you do.

That moment when you have to sit next to someone of the opposite gender

This may not apply to everyone, but when you’ve gone through your entire schooling only surrounded by people of the same gender as yourself, it is legitimately mind boggling when you sit next to someone of the opposite gender. Will they think you want to marry them if you say hi? Do you need to keep bible width apart?

All these issues everyone else works out in Year 8 are suddenly hitting you when you’re into adulthood and golly gosh, it’s awkward. Rest assured though, you’re not the only one who can’t believe how much the other gender talks, and secretly wishes you were back home in your private school bubble.

Anne Rathbone

Anne is a law student at Flinders University, who spends way too much time with her cat and not enough with actual humans.

Image: Ja'mie Private School Girl