The five main differences between dating and a casual fling
For the most part, being single and entering the dating world can be pretty fun. You get to meet a lot of new people and find out what you like and definitely do not like (enter the Tinder horror stories). If you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who’s not a total dud and you’ll both be keen to pursue a second date.
But beyond date number two, things get tricky. Questions start to pop up like, are we seeing each other? Are they as into this as I am? What’s our relationship status? But since you’re probs trying to hide the fact you have absolutely no chill, of course you’ll never ask those questions out loud. If you’re trying to figure out if the series of dates you’ve been on is leading to a relationship or just a casual fling, these are the main differences you should be aware of.
The texting game
Texting is without a doubt the most stressful part of dating. No matter how keen you both are, you’re both trying to play it cool and wait a few hours between texts. But if you’re receiving texts that are just plain frustrating, it might be a sign that they’re not as into this as you are. Text messages that are short and don’t contain follow up questions are the absolute worst and make it feel like you’re having a one-sided conversation. While it might just be that texting is not their thing, it might be a sign that they’re treating this as more of a casual fling.
Someone who wants to introduce you to their friends right away is obviously taking things seriously. Even if that’s just extending an invite to join them for casual drinks, they obvs want to get the friend’s approval. Sure, it might seem a bit full on to do friend introductions when you’re only a few dates in. But if you’ve been on a lot of dates and you haven’t heard much about the friends, let alone met them, tread cautiously.
The frequency of dates
Naturally if you’re both keen, either one of you will be hinting at plans, if not asking outright when you can see each other next. The casual fling is not so straight forward. If you find you’re the only one trying to make plans and they’re constantly cancelling, they might be treating this as more of a casual hook up. Sure life can get busy, but if there are big intervals between one date to the next and it’s a huge effort just to meet up, it might not be worth it.
As well as hoping your date will ask you questions, you would hope that your date actually wants to tell you a bit about themselves. When trying to figure out if you’re compatible, that’s pretty damn important. If you’re just getting vague answers and find they’re unwilling to tell you many personal details, you might want to question why that is. It could be that, unlike yourself, they don’t feel the need to do the compatibility test because they see this as a casual thing.
The booty call
This is a pretty obvious one but it needs to be said. If you’re only being asked on 'dates' after midnight, this is the ultimate sign of a casual fling. While it might seem obvious, it can be hard to acknowledge it when you’re really crushing on someone. Instead, you’ll make excuses like “He could have called anyone but he called me! He must really want to see me!” Nada. No. Do not make excuses for the person who doesn’t want to go out on a proper date with you.