The feels you’ll experience if you’ve left your assignment to the last minute

March 31, 2017
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So here we are again. Even though we promised ourselves we’d be better this semester, we were just lying to ourselves. Instead of a cool, calm and collected semester, we’re experiencing the dramatic ups and downs that come with writing an assignment at the very last minute. The following feels will sound familiar to every last-minute serial procrastinators.

Total oblivion

Remember that time? You were so happy. Blissfully unaware that you had any assignments looming over your head. Then you get an annoying reminder from a tutor or a friend and you check the subject outline – shit. It’s due in a week and you haven’t even looked at it.

Feeling super productive

“A week is soooo much time,” you tell yourself. You get your butt into action and read the assignment requirements, maybe you’ll highlight some key words. You open up a word document and put in your title and your student number. Killing it. It looks great already. You set yourself a plan – sure, it might be 3500 words, but that’s just 500 words a day. Totes doable!

…and then reaaally unproductive

As you get ready to write the world’s most inspiration intro, you get distracted. Super distracted. You feel like you’re working because you’re locked up in your bedroom with your laptop, but really you’re just writing about one sentence per 10 minutes of aimless internet browsing.

Panic mode

Two days to go and you have not stuck to your promise of 500 words a day. It’s late, you’re tired and you have to write at least half of this essay lest you leave it to the night before. You’ve been there before – it’s a dark dark place and you don’t want to go back. All of a sudden you’re overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done and your panic is causing nothing to get done.

You have a semi-breakdown the night before

It’s the night before the assignment is due and you have 3000 words to go. Cool beans. Everything is fine. Except that it’s not and you’re dying and this is the most boring yet most stressful thing ever. You start typing furiously, even though you know you’re not making any sense.

You binge on all the foods

An all-night assignment needs you need sustenance – bring in the Tim Tams and Nutella jar to make this process a whole lot easier.

…and all the Netflix

Despite the fact that you have 12 hours to go, you decide to give yourself the study break you most definitely don’t deserve. You tell yourself that one 20 minute episode will clear your mind – except 20 minutes turns into 2 hours and you’re just hating yourself now.

You’ll rage at anyone who asks you how you’re going

If you’re living with your parents, you’ll know the intense rage of hearing the lecture about how this should have been finished by now. Even worse is when your friends message you to ask how it’s going when they’ve finished it. Although they probs mean well and they’re not doing it in a mean-spirited way, it’s the last thing you want to hear right now.

Total delirium when it hits 3am, T minus six hours till deadline

You’re almost finished, but still have a conclusion and the dreaded referencing to go. You’ve long ago passed the stages of anger and sadness, consuming enough coffee to make you buzzed and delirious. Instead of blowing up when you realise you’ve been using the wrong form of referencing and have to start all over, you’re laughing to yourself at the clusterfuck of a situation you’re in.

The underwhelming feeling of relief

You’ll be way too tired to appreciate actually finishing the assignment. And chances are, you’ll call it a night at 3am, even if it’s not completely done. You’ll hastily finish the piece in the morning and your sleep-deprived self will somehow get yourself to uni to hand it in. You should be feeling relieved, but it’s hard when you have another assignment due in a week…

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