The feels that all perfectionists can relate to

September 29, 2016
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Arial, Calibri, Times New Roman. You’re convinced that font selection is a Freemason-esque secret between being dealt a pass or a credit.

So you justify the hours spent flicking between fonts and obsessing over your essay’s presentation. I mean, the suitable font choice for an assignment would totally plague great minds like Aristotle and Socrates if they were around today. (But so too would the question of how many selfies you can take before you become ridiculously narcissistic.)

As a perfectionist, a primary first-world struggle includes your susceptibility to late assignment submissions. Because when it comes to the day that your assignment’s due you’ve already started over about 10 times.

Your mates reckon that at your peak you’re Rory Gilmore when she first got accepted into Chilton. But you can’t help it – it’s all about having pride in your work, right?

Submitting early isn’t your style because your assignments never feel ready

You’re the last person in your squad to submit your assignment, and you’ve probably even toyed with the idea of submitting late. This is because submitting your assignment without it being up-to-scratch is out of the question.

You waste plenty of time searching for the perfect synonym for ‘demonstrates’. Only basic peeps use ‘shows’, tbh.

Let’s be real, searching for super complicated words to make you look smart isn’t going to make your paper the kind of bellissimo you’re after. But we know you’re destined to spend lots of hours tormenting yourself, trying to find that golden word.

Such high aspirations of obtaining perfection, so little time…

You make everybody within a 500m radius proofread your work

Writing a paper and checking it yourself isn’t good enough. If it was socially acceptable to do so, you’d have the entire neighbourhood proof-reading your work.

In your mind, your essay isn’t going to get a good grade unless it’s had a dozen eyes checking for spelling, grammar, coherency of the argument and of course, whether the font looks OK.

Wait, the word OK isn’t in your vocabulary – it has to be flawless.

Your worst nightmare? You give your assignment to your mate and they reply ever-so-casually with “Yeah, it’s good. I’d just submit.”

Do they even know you?

You're that student who spams lecturers and tutors

You email an essay plan to your tutor. Then you edit it and send it again. Then a third time. All within 10 minutes…

They haven’t replied, so you message your lecturer. You even consider camping outside their office so you’re first in when consultation time hits.  

Yeah, you have a feeling it’s a little too much. But hey, at least you’re committed.

So you’re obsessed with obtaining perfection, but surely that’s how haloumi cheese came into existence.

And if you could just be even a tenth of the blessing that delightful side dish is to any tasting platter, you’d get a HD for sure.

Self-professed perfectionists, you’re putting us early submitters to shame. If only we could have your endurance levels and eye for detail.

Eden Gillespie

Eden Gillespie is an International Studies/ Media student at UNSW with a love for breakfast bagels and Louis Theroux.

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