The 12 struggles of Christmas

December 22, 2016
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For each of the 12 days of Christmas, you bet there’s just as many struggles. There’s money, parking and emotional card writing just to name a few of our most beloved holiday rituals.

One: Thoughtful gifts

A scented candle or a really nice shirt just doesn’t cut it for you anymore. You’re ready to commit and take the risk of purchasing/creating something personal for a family member, friend or significant other.

And yet as you rack your brain, nothing comes to mind that’s a) special enough b) something they’d actually like and c) not just a funny joke.

Two: Gifts for everyone!  

‘Cos you know, there’s family in all its shapes and sizes (possibly including pets), friends, family friends, neighbours…

Three: $$$

We’re all students here, so money’s real tight and even though you want to spoil your mother, you just don’t have the funds. Naturally, people are going to be downgraded from “cool present” to “cute Christmas card with a candy cane” stuck to its envelope to make room for extra spending money.

Four: Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping usually begins the day before when you plan the time to leave in an effort to get a good carpark. Then the real organisation kicks in with screenshots of specific items you want to buy, making phone calls to make sure things are in stock and checking and re-checking bank accounts to take a final look before the huge hit happens.

Five: Emotional card writing

As easy as it would be to write a “Dear…” and “Love from…” we’ve all probably reached an age where we need to give a little more. For the emotionally stable, writing heartfelt cards is a walk in the park. But for those who feel awkward just watching an emotional ad on TV, what could be more dreadful than writing about feelings?

Six: Wrapping

You’d think wrapping a box would be easy. All you have to do is cut out the right amount of wrapping paper and then fold away. Yet every year, the paper will come loose and the final result will be a wonky looking effort. You decidedly unwrap it and finally place it in a nice Christmasy gift bag because you can’t go wrong with that.

Seven: Organising Christmas meals

Ah yes, the infamous “Christmas lunch/catch-up” group message that you have so honourably created. 90% of the time they actually do happen but not without being seen-zoned by everyone at least three times, feeling awkward when someone leaves the group, and chasing up people in individual messages if they’re actually going to come or not. 

Eight: Dressing up for 30+ degree heat heat

Cool (literally), yet Christmas-y.

Nine: Judgy extended family visits

“So are you dating someone yet?”

““Why haven’t you graduated yet?”

“Are you working?”

“Why are you wearing that?”

“You should be more like *insert their successful child*”

Yay!

Ten: All the food

Three words: goodbye summer body

(Not that it was there in the first place, but still.)

Eleven: Work parties

We all know how wild these things can get. Not to mention trying to have the perfect balance of drunk-but-not-too-drunk so you don’t tell your boss what you really think of them or start hitting on someone you really, really shouldn’t have.

Twelve: Boxing Day

…or the Christmas hangover where you’re filled to the brim with alcohol soaked turkey, suffering from a mild hangover, heatstroke and maybe even heartburn.

But despite all of this, you still crawl out of bed and to the nearest shopping centre for some wild Boxing Day shopping fun. We’re uni students – we live for the epic sales.

Steffanie Tan

Steffanie is studying a Bachelor of Journalism at Monash University and is horrible at bios and that is all that needs to be said.

Image: Bridget Jones's Diary official Facebook page

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