Six ways to survive Valentine's Day as a single

February 11, 2015
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Let’s admit it: The big V-Day can be an absolute blast for singles and not just because of pity hook ups. While all your couple friends are being gross and in love, you can spend this day celebrating just how goddam great you are.

So as someone who hasn’t put a ring on it, here’s how I recommend you spend the day.

Go sex toy shopping

I mean, you’re not going to be single forever. Why not spend the day preparing yourself for some exciting times ahead? And anyway, it’s not like you can’t have fun just because you don’t have a significant other. You can even get yourself a little something to pass the time if you get my drift.

The only requirement? Do yourself a favour and go to a reputable joint for this. There’s nothing worse than a seedy, seedy adult store. Especially if you identify as female. Stay away from the neon lights, people.

Watch Atonement

Because however shitty your life is, things aren’t as bad for you as they are for James McAvoy and Keira Knightley in Atonement. In what I consider to be the saddest movie of all time, love fails and everyone ends up miserable and/or dead. And hey, misery loves company, right?

So sit back, relax, and be grateful. If your biggest problem is that you can’t see Keira’s stunning face through your own tears then you’ve got a pretty awesome life. Well done.

Bake your own comfort food

Ditch the cliché eating-an-entire-tub-of-ice-cream-while-watching-Bridget-Jones’s-Diary V-day activity and eat your feelings in style. You always appreciate things more when you’ve worked for them. And this way you can feel like you’ve achieved something. You can even Instagram it so that everyone can see how productive you are.

Go to the theatre

We’re all aware that you’re only single because of your impeccable taste, so this is your chance to show the world just how sophisticated you are. Take yourself out to some quality (read: non-student) theatre and enjoy a performance with a reasonable budget for once. You can even bring some elegant friends who have also snubbed the Sk8ter Bois in favour of silk blouses and canapés. Let the selfies begin.

Do a pole dancing class

Possibly the only form of exercise where you can look damn fine while also sweating profusely. What more can you want? It’s really good for your fitness, it’s fun and you’ll feel desirable. Go forth.

Go to a karaoke bar

Karaoke is the best judgement-free way to vent all of your pent up emotions, good or bad. I recommend hiring out a private room with the best people you know and just go for it. Dance on the tabletops while singing We Are Never Getting Back Together; I promise that you won’t regret it. Not trashy enough? Bonus points for goon.

Talia Meyerowitz-Katz

Talia Meyerowitz-Katz is studying a bachelor of Media and Communications at the University of Sydney, majoring in English. She enjoys reading fantasy and watching anime, and loves anything cake-related. 

Image: Karl Alfrink, Flickr Creative Commons license