Six ways to avoid uni election campaigners on campus

September 08, 2016
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Brace yourselves, election season is coming.

Soon enough, when you rock up to campus, you’ll be bombarded by energetic students in colourful t-shirts eager to stop you and tell you about the student discounts they’ll give you if you vote for them (or vote at all).

Though they have the best intentions, we all know it can get tiresome to pretend to care and sometimes, we just want to get to class. So if you’ve heard all the spiels before, or if you prefer to bypass the whole election fiasco entirely, here are some ways to avoid being stopped by campaigners on campus.

Wear headphones and avoid eye contact

An oldie, but a goodie. Plus, I’m sure most of us do this anyway. A classic way to shield yourself from uni campaigners is to effectively block off your senses. Get your favourite tunes going and look away from the hoard of campaigners at all costs. At least you’ll look so engrossed in your music that you’re not paying attention to your surroundings (as opposed to looking like you’re ignoring people).

Pretend you’re on the phone

Another classic avoidance technique. If you really want to go for realness, here are some ideas for your hypothetical phone call:

  • You’re meeting friends and are asking for directions
  • Work has called and is asking you to come in
  • You’re discussing a group assignment with one of your classmates

Or, alternatively, just say a series of well-timed yeps and mmhmms. Just make sure you don’t actually get called during the charade.

Take an alternate route to class

If you’re really adamant about avoiding the whole election, but feel a bit bad just outright ignoring people like me, you can devise an alternate route that bypasses highly populated areas of campus.

It could also be a good opportunity to explore the nooks and crannies of your campus. Most unis are pretty big so you never know what secrets are hiding just off the main path. Philosophical sayings aside, you could also get some extra exercise out of it. If nothing else, it adds some extra walking to hatch those Pokémon eggs.

For those who have been at uni for a while, this should be a piece of cake. For the newer students out there, be careful not to get lost and of course, allow enough time to get to class.

Pretend to be sad or overly emotional

Drama students, this is your time to shine. If there’s anything that makes a public encounter awkward, its dramatic shows of emotion.

Splash some water on your face and look sad and withdrawn. Or, better yet, totally overreact if someone approaches you and just make them feel uncomfortable. You could potentially have a lot of fun with this if you really despise campaigners. Attempt at your own risk.

Wait until every campaigner is talking to someone and then slip through unnoticed

This technique is perfect for those not in a particular rush and optimal for those seated in a café on campus with a clear view of the campaigners outside.

Timing is key here. Keep a close eye on the campaigners outside to get the best opportunity to leave. Once all of the campaigners are occupied, make your move and dart straight though the firing line. Easy peasy!

Stay Home

Hey, if all else fails you could always not turn up if your study load allows it!

Kim Koelmeyer

Kim is and Arts (Journalism)/Law student at Deakin and deals primarily in memes and blogging.

Image: Netflix Life official Facebook page