Seven things I discovered after being single for a year
One year ago I broke up with a guy who I loved dearly but didn’t treat me right. That day, I made a promise to myself to stay single for a whole year to focus on myself – and let me just say, it was the best decision. A year flying solo might sound sad or even scary to some, but I learned a lot and achieved more than I thought possible. These are just some of the things I discovered after being single for a year.
I have so much free time
Now that I don’t have to be texting someone 24/7 and making sure I dedicate enough time to another person, I have so much time to spend on me and the things I want to do. Working, volunteering, studying and travelling, as well as little things like being able to sit down and read a book in peace, are all definite positives of being single.
Being alone is important
Have you ever sat in a café and admired that person eating alone? Or the person that takes themselves to an art gallery, or a movie? I became that person, because not having someone to hold my hand and go with me just wasn’t a good enough reason for me to miss out on what I wanted to do. While it’s great to spend time with your friends, and I recommend it highly, it is also important to be able to be alone.
New people are great
It was quite a shock to lose friends along with my relationship, but it provided me with the opportunity to replenish my squad and meet new people I may have never spoken to otherwise. Meeting new people will make you realise that there are more fish in the sea, and there are some wonderfully likeminded and brilliantly diverse people out there.
I can do what I want
I realised that I can do anything I feel like doing, without worrying about my other half. I could go hiking each weekend, coffee dates every morning, clubbing every night, or sleep in every single day..
Beyond this, being single is the perfect time to spread your wings with other people. Go on a date with the cute guy in your class, or make out with the hot guy at the bar - why not? Just make sure you’re staying safe and looking after you first.
I don’t miss the relationship drama
Why do we spend so much time crying about what was said and questioning the actions of the person we’re with? Being single gives you a break from the drama of a significant other, as well as from the tears and excessive sugary treats (we’ve all been there…right?) after your fights.
I am pretty damn awesome
In the lead up to a break up there are often hurtful things said and done. After healing a bit, I realised that I am capable of so much on my own and that I am actually a pretty good person with a bucket load of ambition.
You can be friends… but you don’t have to be
My ex and I still talk sometimes, and while it’s not always smooth sailing (imagine a leaky kayak in the middle of a storm), it works for us. Having said that, a lot of people prefer to just cut ties and move on. I realised that there are no set rules when it comes to relationships and breakups, we really can make our own.
Here’s to all the single ladies (and lads)!
Chloe is an arts student at The University of Melbourne, as well as film lover, volunteering addict and pole fitness enthusiast.