Realistic New Year's resolutions for lazy AF students

January 04, 2017
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Ah yes, New Year’s resolutions. Renowned for not lasting very long, they’re a bit of a hit and a miss ritual. But for us lazy students who don’t plan on making any monumental promises to ourselves in 2017, these little uni resolutions may be the perfect solution for you if you want to join in on the fun of setting new challenges for yourself.

Get that HD

And not just any HD. We mean that overall HD you get texted one day early to you ’cos you were feeling daring with results. Putting in that extra effort can go a long way when it comes to making sure you’ve cited correctly or discussed everything possible. Ps do get degrees but HDs taste so much better with celebratory alcohol.

Let’s get physical, legit

Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t fail subjects right?

That’s right, it’s time to crack out your mothers yoga mat and start getting physical and what better time to start than the New Year. And no, walking across campus doesn’t count as a legit ‘leg day’. So grab a friend and sign up for a gym (or subscribe to a fitness guru on YouTube for free).

Increase that WAM

If the HDs a chuckle and a half, then take an alternative route to a higher WAM. This doesn’t necessary mean HDs, it just means better marks in general. Ns could turn into Ps, Ps into Cs… you get the point.  

Get some direction

“First* year wasn’t exactly what I thought it’d be but don’t worry, there’s always next year to figure everything out.”

*Second, third, fourth etc.

If this sounds like you it’s probably time to book a course advisor meeting. It might be uncomfortable hearing things you don’t want to hear or it might be really eye-opening in a positive way. Either way, it’s going to help you understand what you actually want from uni.

Actually rock up to uni

Things that happen when you’re a serial skipper:

“I have no idea what’s going on”

“Who are all these people?”

“I haven’t caught up on anything”

“Did I just seriously fail on attendance?”

The last one is such a kick in the shin because of all things to fail on, attendance is actually something you can guarantee for at least 75 per cent of tutes.

Make a friend

So if your resolution is to turn up to uni on a more regular basis, then you’re going to find yourself actually having to talk to people. But this doesn’t have to be one of those situations where you fake niceness and send each other occasional questions about upcoming tests. This could be a monumental moment where you actually befriend someone who could be the Joey to your Chandler.

Procrasti-not

Dealing with procrastination has always been a toughie for us lazy uni students. So there’s no point promising ourselves we won’t procrastinate in 2017 because let’s be real, that’s just not going to happen. But what we can promise is a little less procrastinating, and a little more doing. It may not seem like much at first but it’ll pay off for a free Friday night or a sleep-in the next morning.

Apply away 

It’s always a good time to apply for internships. Make the most of this during the New Year period when you adopt a #YOLO attitude and apply for anything and everything. As clichéd as it may sound, you don’t know until you try.

Steffanie Tan

Steffanie is studying a Bachelor of Journalism at Monash University and is horrible at bios and that is all that needs to be said.

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