Orgasmic Meditation explained

August 19, 2014
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Sneaky delves into the world of Orgasmic Meditation to find out where the movement came from and what it’s all about.

8:30am on a Thursday morning is the perfect time of day to stroke pussy. It’s like coffee – a nice, hot shot to get your day going.

I was in a beautifully decorated terrace house on Punt Road, Richmond, staring down at Rosa, whose naked legs were spread open in front of me in preparation for a session of OM – Orgasmic Mediation.

Sitting to Rosa’s side was Graham – her “stroker” this morning. As I watched, Graham gently inserted his thumb into Rosa’s pussy and began to describe what he saw. He then found what devotees of Orgasmic Mediation view as the Holy Grail of their religion: the upper left-hand quadrant of the clitoris. He began to gently stroke Rosa on that spot and, after less than two minutes, she began to orgasm. He continued for 15 minutes, and so did she.


What even is Orgasmic Meditation?

Orgasmic Meditation was developed by an American author, speaker and modern guru named Nicole Daedone. In 2001 she started a movement called OneTaste, a kind of urban-retreat style series of centres whose focus was to create “a clean, well-lit place where sexuality, relationships and intimacy could be discussed openly and honestly”. 

I met Rosa over OKCupid (don’t ask). She spent four years as a OneTaste representative and social media strategist in San Francisco, New York and Las Vegas. An Australian native, she recently moved back here with the sole intention of starting up an Orgasmic Meditation movement in her home country. She’s starting it all from her mum’s place in Richmond, Melbourne.

We began to talk about the whys and hows of OM. “I’d always been into personal development and spirituality. One of many things I came across was an interview with Nicole Daedone, who had a really interesting take on this sense of dissatisfaction that a lot of people feel. This lack of connection that they have in their lives. This sense of not being able to touch this part of yourself that is hungry for something.

“What people are lacking is this sense of connection – with themselves, other people, some kind of purpose or higher vision for their lives. It’s a very modern affliction.”

This is not an unusual take on First World Problems. Yes, our consumerist, capitalist society undoubtedly has a big, black hole in its spirit. Or maybe it doesn’t have a spirit. Sometimes people seek answers in Christ, Buddha, Yoga, Eastern “spirituality” or self-help gurus. Devotees of Orgasmic Meditation say the key is orgasm. “OM gives you an opportunity to access a really deep level of connection with another human being,” Rosa continued. “In the same way that meditation and yoga are practices, OM is genuinely looking to help with self-realisation and happiness. It’s changed my life very profoundly.”

Like many females, Rosa found out about the practise and was intrigued, but never thought she would actually let anyone anywhere near her pussy. “I wanted to learn more about being an empowered woman, and more about my sexuality. But actually participating in the practice was so far outside my mind. I was game for focusing on my desire for intimacy. I trained with one of the senior coaches in San Francisco without any intention of actually participating in the practice.”

Immediately Rosa met a bunch of awesome, open and happy women who she could relate to, all of whom had become inspired by OM. “It was great to hear it from them. Then I saw a demonstration, and I felt something. Something shifted inside me. It was this nourishing, saturating feeling – a feeling of orgasm and connection. I eventually came to the conclusion that I’d have to try it. I giggled through the whole thing because I was so nervous, but the experience was awesome. And I’ve never looked back.”

The stroker-strokee relationship

While strokers and strokees typically know each other before they begin a session, it’s not essential. “The idea is that you have an experience with somebody, but it’s not necessary that you have a romantic or sexual relationship with them. You don’t even have to want to go out for tea with them.”

I asked about attraction – which is something that’s typically essential for getting turned on and having an orgasm. “I would say that OM is more about connection than attraction. And you can be connected to anyone. Initially, when people start OM, there’s definitely an attachment to doing it with people who they’re attracted to. I used to do it like that. Now, for me, it’s about wanting to experience a deep level of connection. Now, my range of who I will OM with is much broader.”

Right now the Orgasmic Mediation movement in Australia is small…

But even Jesus started out with only 12 disciples. In addition to holding private coaching sessions, Rosa has also started holding regular “TurnOn” events at a loft in Smith Street, Collingwood.

A TurnOn event is a gathering of people interested in OM during which a leader will run the group through a series of exercises designed to stimulate honestly and communication between people. I rocked up to the Smith Street TurnOn session with a bunch of prejudices because of my deep-seated hatred towards “spiritual” movements. I came with my guard up.

I walked up three flights of stairs to be confronted by a bunch of dudes, essentially. There were two females there – an older lady who gave off a bit of an ex-hippy vibe, and a young, good looking 22 year old who seemed a little lost. The rest of the group consisted of about 10 or so guys, some older and a bit sad, some young and keen.

The TurnOn event consisted of three games. The first was called Inside Out where each person was asked what someone would know about them if said person really ‘knew’ them. Next up was a game called The Hot Seat. Members of the group were asked to sit on a stool at the front of the gathering and answer any questions directed at them with complete and utter honesty. One man, however, was shockingly honest. It came out that his wife – with whom he had a nine-year-old child with, had recently died. And he was happy about it. He spoke of how his life had gotten so much better since his wife had passed, how he’d entered into a new, open relationship, how he’s just bought himself a new boat. His honesty stunned me.

The final game of the night involved us giving honest feedback to our fellow participants, and we were encouraged to tell them of a moment during the meeting when we judged them. One fellow even told me that I seemed “like a profound person”. (Take that, all you exes who called me shallow and immature.)

And as it turned out, the man sitting next to me was a both a polyamorist and a devoted Baptist Christian. “I think the clitoris is proof of the existence of God,” the man told me. “It’s an organ that is dedicated solely to pleasure – there is actually no evolutionary purpose for it.” I had a go at refuting his theory. The process of evolution necessitates that females get some pleasure out of sexual activities, thus explaining quite nicely the evolutionary purpose of the clitoris, but he seemed unswayed.

OM, polyamorous relationships and personal intimacy

One thing that I picked up on at the meeting was the prevalence of people who were involved with, or seeking, polyamorous relationships. Amongst OM devotees, open relationships seem to be quite common. Rosa herself is in an open marriage.

That sexual freedom is another one of the attractions of OM. In addition to filling this existential hole that we all feel within ourselves through the female orgasm, OM also speaks to something that is wrong with the way we structure our relationships. It’s not an uncommon thing to hear people banging on about how monogamy goes against almost every natural human instinct.

Asking somebody you’ve only met a few times if they’d be happy for you to touch their clitoris for 15 minutes is kinda awkward. To properly delve into this world, however, I needed to book a session of OM. My partner, who asked not to be identified, was someone who I’d worked with on a professional basis. We’d also slept together before, so I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But about two hours before we were to begin, she freaked out.

“I feel that this is something incredibly intimate and personal that people who are in a relationship should do,” she said. “For me, this is a form of tantric sex that’s based around mutual respect, love and intimacy. Orgasms are personal things and for one to happen in such a clinical environment seems off putting… creating a false sense of intimacy with another person made me feel extremely sad.”

Her reluctance to participate in the session brought up one of the barriers that practitioners of OM encounter on a regular basis. Sex, when it’s at its best, should be an instinctual thing. – something that is wild and of the moment. The idea that you can micromanage an orgasm, get it down to an almost scientific practice with specific guidelines and a step-by-step instruction guide, runs counter to everything we expect when we’re thinking about an orgasm.

I didn’t want to push my friend too hard, though. Rosa volunteered to give me a demonstration, and I jumped at the opportunity. And that’s how I ended up, at 8:30 on that strange Thursday morning, watching Rosa and her stroker give a demo of the act itself.

James Branson

To read the full article, head to Sneaky.