Life lessons you'll only learn when you’ve been dumped

April 03, 2017
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It’s not something any of us want to go through, yet most of us have probs experienced rejection at some point in our dating lives. No matter how long the relationship lasted, it’s always going to be painful when it’s completely out of the blue or you’re on a totally different page to the dumpee. But it’s not all doom and gloom; for those of you who are going through a breakup, you'll most likely gain these pearls of wisdom.

You'll learn to rely on yourself

It’s a harsh reality when you go from seeing someone every day to nothing at all, particularly when you’ve shared so many personal things about yourself. Getting accustomed to losing a friend is a shock to the system at first and takes some getting used to. But going through that process does make you resilient. Instead of relying on a partner to help get you through a bad day or to help you make big decisions, when you don’t have that person you’ve just got to suck it up and do it.

You'll learn from the mistakes you made and the warning signs you ignored

This isn’t to say you caused the breakup with your “mistakes”, it’s just saying no one’s perfect and you learn from each different relationship experience. If it was your first ever relationship, there may have been things you didn’t know weren't normal until you were outside the relationship. The experience will teach you what to accept and not accept in future relationships. With hindsight, you'll probably start to see the warning signs you never saw when you were in the relationship, and you'll learn not to take those for granted again either.

You'll learn how to treat others in the face of rejection

You might have had an amicable dumping experience, or maybe it was the absolute worst. Either way, you’ll learn how to treat others if you’re in the same position. If your ex did the total dick move of dumping you via text, you’ll know to never ever do that, knowing it made you feel about 100 per cent worse. If it was a shifty situation but your ex was actually quite good about it, you can take a leaf from their book of what you should do if you’re in the situation where you're dumping someone.

You'll learn about the true friends who will be there for you

This doesn’t just go for revealing your ex’s true colours. You’ll realise which friends are there for you and willing to come over for a hug and a food binge at 3am in the morning when you’re feeling devastated. It’s a good way to figure out the fair-weather friends from the true BFFs.

You'll learn how to cope with pain

It will probably feel really shitty for a while and unfortunately there’s no avoiding that. If you weren’t ready for it to end, you might even spend your time hoping you’ll get back together, or dwell on it instead of getting over it. But you'll learn that you can’t put a date on when you’ll feel better about it, you just have to feel your emotions and let time do its thing. You’ll think about it a lot to begin with, but there will be a time where you don’t even realise you’ve stopped letting it bring you down.