Is swiping right the closest we'll get to chivalry?

March 17, 2017
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I was recently overwhelmed with emotion on a Nandos date when my male suitor let me scan my Nandos rewards cards, instead of his, on our combined order. It was the most chivalrous offer I’d experienced in a long time.  

The concept of ‘chivalry’ seems as outdated as the accompanying cliché that "Chivalry is dead" - but maybe the case is that it’s less opening of doors and more of something else. What is that something else though? I went to Tinder to find out and asked my matches "What do you think modern day chivalry is?"

Result one: Sass

I welcome sass. If you’re not going to say what you really think, then you might as well be ridiculously sarcastic.

Probably my favourite response. It’s a bold man who uses his About Me section to describe his favourite biscuits. It’s hard to go past a fellow Chocolate Wheaten enthusiast.

Taking four days to respond even when I messaged first? I agree with you pal, a timely response would have been chivalrous. Besides, The Bachelor themed display picture you clearly made on PowerPoint isn’t doing it for me.

Is discrediting my question really the way you want to try flirt? Points deducted for inappropriate use of a winky emoji too.

Result two: Silence

Not sure what more I should have anticipated from a Canadian exchange student who was looking for a girl to "Feed me!" It’s fine pal, you’d never be able to compete with Justin Trudeau in my heart anyway.

Result three: Overwhelmingly wholesome "honesty and respect"

I find it difficult to believe that I matched with the only few “honest” and “respectful” 22-26-year-old men in Perth during the course of this experiment. What I do believe is that guys on Tinder are so eager to please that they’ll say anything they think you want to hear. 

“Good manners” on Tinder? I’m not trying to be a bitch, but that is beyond realistic.

Cute, but too good to be true. Next.

This got a little heavy, although I guess asking someone what they think about chivalry isn’t the lightest topic of conversation.

Unapologetically listing your values to a strange girl on tinder? SWOON.

All in all, the results were not completely surprising. Tinder is tinder after all and isn’t renowned for being the platform of complete transparency. What I did realise is that it’s hard to know how any one person will interpret a gesture. Will they take it as chivalry or a condescending offer? It’s a minefield.

It takes two to tango if you want respect and honesty - give it as good as you get it. If he messages you first, don’t leave the poor guy hanging. If he offers to pay for dinner, you pay for dessert. It’s as easy as that.

Danica Lamb

Danica is a Laws Masters kid at UWA. She enjoys cheap coffee and 80s pop music.

Image: Giphy

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