Five things you should avoid doing at uni while drunk

August 25, 2016
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There are lots of things you shouldn't do at uni: allocating yourself 8am lectures, leaving your major assessment until the day it's due or doing the further readings. But drinking isn't one of these things.

Let's not forget how getting a load on is basically an Aussie tradition, especially for those young uni students looking to forget the dread of upcoming essays or the possibility of 100k degrees.

A lot of the best stories come from those filthy nights out, society parties that get perfectly out of hand and even those last couple of days living on campus where you just can't make it through sober.

So, for those that don't mind a drink, chug, shot or funnel - here are the five things you should avoid doing at uni while drunk.

Masterchef-ing your way into not having eyebrows anymore

That's right, cooking! It may seem like a ripper idea to try make your mates a HSP at 2am after a solid boozing sesh but it's actually not. If you value having hair on your face that you don't have to draw on with a pencil every morning, then the safe route would be to head out to a late night kebab joint for some greasy fried goodness instead of risking singeing off your hair.

Danger avoided.

Catching up with your lecturers via email

This is literally the fastest way to embarrass yourself into never attending a lecture again.

When you wake up in the morning, you better be praying you saved that sucker to draft because there's nothing more awkward than making eye contact after a drunken digital convo with someone that's marking your exams.

Better start praying you don't make a guest appearance on a lecture slide.

Letting your feelings loose on campus

Sure, you mightn't have lost your diamond earring in the ocean like a certain internet breaking celebrity, but that extra shot of tequila could just bring out those feels that you prefer to keep buried deep inside.

Things could get super juicy if your drunken self decides to let everyone in your dorm know who you love and who you hate. It can get especially exciting if you've decided to try and hunt down your crush on your uni's stalkerspace like the true Romeo you are – brave but foolish.

Catching up on notes AKA how to waste a good buzz

We spend a lot of time procrastinating, wondering how to take good notes or how to retain information when we're cramming - alcohol doesn't help at all. It's not all bad though, looking at the ridiculous crap you've written the next day can be a bit of a laugh.

Trying to last through a tute or workshop

It may feel like you're being just your regular chill self in class and paying full attention to what's going on - but in reality everyone can tell you're trashed.

Honestly, this might actually be more painful than the hangover that's to come, let's just hope this is a 'participation points' tute so you don't have to stress too much about marks.

If you do somehow find yourself in this situation, don't answer any questions and don't fall asleep - listening to a tutor drone on might even sober you up a bit.

So they are the basics of what not to do when the sauce hits you at uni. Sometimes it will end up being good fun, other times will make you want to wear a bag over your head for the rest of semester.

And just remember, when the room starts spinning that's your cue to run to the toilet.

Harrison Johnstone

A country kid at heart with city slicking aspirations in his head, Harrison is an aspiring journalist, video editor and human being.

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