Five things single people are so sick of hearing

July 07, 2016
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Ah, singledom. So much to love and yet so many things that’re totally, completely annoying and misinterpreted. It’s a little ambiguous too - some individuals don’t mind being the third wheel.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, there exists a kind of alienation of lifestyles in which we’re miffed and unable to completely understand the routines of the other.

As a single person there’s some stuff we don’t really care about, but other stuff that we do. Here’s what we’re really sick of hearing.

Being asked our relationship status at family functions

This question is inevitable and always pops up at large family functions without fail. The longer it’s been since you’ve seen the rels, the worse the interrogation will be.

It’ll commonly happen after they’re finished talking about how your cousin just gave birth to another screaming bundle of joy and everyone is so happy. Heads will swivel in your direction as you’re pointedly asked “And what about you, are you seeing anyone?”

No, I’m obviously too busy being a common hoe, thanks for asking grandma. If you see a person sitting in the corner guzzling wine, it’s safe to assume they’re the single one at a family reunion.

‘No’ signals being ignored at clubs

Apparently the word ‘no’ is getting more difficult to understand in clubs. I get that when you approach someone you don’t know whether or not they’re available or interested, however it’s getting more and more common to see people grinding on and attempting to get with others who obviously want no part of it.

We’re learning that “I’m with someone else” is the easiest way to get rid of persistence because they respect the ownership of another person over the actual individual’s response.

Valentine’s Day

To those in relationships, congratulations! You get a day of pinkness and cheap flowers to be spoilt with gifts and special treatment. Single people can all sit and watch as society rewards couples for being in a couple.

I mean, what kind of reverse punishment is this? Love is great, but I firmly believe that that’s sufficient. Apparently it’s not enough to let couples celebrate their own anniversaries in their own unique way between themselves.

Why do we make single people feel that little less esteemed through a commercialised celebration for a certain percentage of the world? When February 14 rolls around, I’ll probably just go back to bed. Either that, or I’ll totally nail being single.

The assumption that we’re not content

Because how could we possibly be truly happy unless we’re in a relationship? Firstly, just because people are in relationships it doesn’t mean they’re working or that those people are happy and content.

Secondly, of course being with the love of your life will make you happier, however you can be perfectly happy before that happens. Ignorance is bliss, so for those of us yet to meet that special someone we can take comfort in the fact that we don’t actually know what we’re missing out on.

Oh, and don’t insult us with your pity party - we have full lives with study, work, friends, family, hobbies and interests and are working towards fulfilment just the same as you.

“How are you still single? You’re so great!”

Anyone who says this can expect an excessive eye roll. Excuse me while I do a shot of vodka.

Side note: It’s more than OK to blast ‘Single Ladies’ at any party. That shit is our jam.

Grace Potter

Grace studies Communications & Media at the University of Wollongong and is an avid fan of Harry Potter and coffee.