Five telltale signs that your first date should be the last
First dates hey. If life were like a Disney movie, they would all consist of picnics under weeping willows, riding around in a horse and cart into the blushing pink sunset and finishing the night off by eating spaghetti together until you finally kiss. Heaven.
But unfortunately for all those about to grab their carpet and go for a ride, life isn’t like a Disney movie and first dates aren’t known to be that peachy.
Unless you're married, happily single or a priest, first dates are an unavoidable fact of life because the majority of us are on the pursuit of finding love, a journey inherent to human kind. Meeting new people can be a lot of fun – you share life experiences, adventures and laughs. You may even meet your next partner. But they can also go horribly wrong. Here are five signs that you should leave that first date in the past.
They speak about themselves the entire time
Ugh. Is there anything worse? While an important aspect of first dates is about getting to know one another to see if you’re compatible, what isn’t fun is when one’s dialogue turns into a monologue that wouldn’t look out of place in a Shakespeare play.
If your date is only interested in talking about how they were school captain in high school and won’t even remember your name when you go, gently remind them that next time maybe its best they took themselves out to dinner.
They talk about their ex, drug addiction, stealing etc.
Some conversation topics wave a red flag – similar to one that you would wave in an arena with bulls. If your first date is continually bringing up their ex, then that’s a sure fire way to see they are not ready to move on. Also, if they bring up stories about stealing cars, or how they pull bongs like its 1979, then this date should probably be the last.
They are too full on in a disrespectful way
There’s no doubt that confidence and charisma can make a gal or guy weak at the knees. It shows that they’re happy within themselves, proud of what they have achieved, and even better, they know who they are. Think Ryan Gosling’s character in Crazy, Stupid, Love.
But there’s a wafer thin line between being confident and being just plain rude and arrogant. If someone is coming on too hard, or they’re abusing your personal space, then it’s time to leave. Respect goes a long way on a first date (and all the ones that follow) and if they don’t have it the first time, then I’m afraid they never will.
You keep on looking at the clock
Yes, on a first date you’re meant to talk about what you do for a living, what you studied, and what your favourite holiday destination is (though I also believe there’s no rules to dating). I’m guilty to even playing 21 questions as an easy way to break the ice and get to know someone quite quickly. But first and foremost, dates are about having fun. And if you’re not, then you’re with the wrong person.
Life’s too short not to be with a buddy who doesn’t make you laugh, challenge you and try new things with you. So if you keep on looking at the time, wondering when the kosher time is to leave, then do so (without your date).
They’re rude to the waitress
“If you want to know what a person is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
While the person sitting in front of you may seen as sweet as candy, observe how they treat the waiter, people you bump into etc. Even see how they talk about their friends and family. Because while the bad guy may get the girl in the movies, I can tell you now, the good guy ends up with them. No one wants to hang out with a mean and negative person.
In the world of dating, you may have to weave through a few thorns until you find your rose. But on one side, terrible dates always make for a great story. And you never know who you may meet on your next first date. It could end up being the best first date of your life and your last one – but this time for all the right reasons.
Avril studies Journalism at Notre Dame in Sydney. In her spare time she enjoys playing cards with her grandfather, drinking one too many margaritas and pondering hypothetical questions. You can read more of her work at writingsnotlost.com.