Five signs you've definitely outgrown the party scene

February 24, 2016
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When you first arrive at uni, everything’s new and exciting, and going out five nights a week seems like a perfectly acceptable thing to do. Odds are, this will continue during fresher year. And second year. But eventually, there will come a time when the lure of bed and a Netflix marathon is much stronger than whatever dodgy (and repetitive) theme night is happening at the pub. Don’t get me wrong; I still love a good party as much as the next girl, and I’ve had my fair share of amazing nights out. But after three years? I’m a little more selective. I always swore this would never happen to me. I never thought I’d be the person sitting in their room doing a 3000-word report, thumping music coming from who knows where, thinking, ‘God, don’t these people have any work to do?’

Sound familiar? Here are some other tell-tale signs that your wild ways are probably a thing of the past.

You get halfway through pres and you’re yawning

Don’t judge – this happens to the best of us. Sometimes, no matter how bad you want to go out, your body tries to remind you that it actually needs some rest now and again. The best way to deal with this is to take a quick account of your mood, the vibe of the pre-drinks, and whether or not you have an obnoxiously early class in the morning. Depending on the results, either grab a blankie and snuggle into bed, or tell your body to suck it up and look around for some tequila. Nobody ever gets boring on tequila.

Kick-ons have become a foreign concept

Kick-ons? It’s 5am! Don’t you people ever sleep? And honestly, kick-ons rarely end well - trust me.

You see that fresher vomiting in the corner and feel genuine concern

You’ve made it out. You’re having a great time. Then you cop an elbow to the side as some fresher stumbles past you trying to get clear of the dancefloor before they start to vomit. Instead of laughing, as you may have done in the past, you worry and wonder if they’re OK. Odds are, they’ll finish vomiting and go right back to the goon bag they’ve hidden in the bushes. Let them go. Enjoy the rest of your night and thank God that they didn’t get any vomit on your shoes.

Your disgust at some of the PDA happening around you

There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of PDA - we’ve all done it. But as soon as there’s the possibility of you having to tell your future child their place of conception was in the middle of the pub, maybe it’s time to calm down. No one enjoys having to dodge a writhing couple when they’re just trying to get to the bathroom. Sorry if this makes me ‘boring’, but the dorms are a five-minute taxi ride away. Just wait.

When you do go out, you instantly regret it the next morning

“I’ll be fine!” Famous last words. You always think you’ll be fine for your nine o’clock class the next morning. You won’t be. This wasn’t as much of an issue in previous years, when classes could be skipped without too much fallout (sorry, Mum). But this is your final year. Skipping class won’t just result in a one-mark deduction; it’ll mean missing a metric shit-tonne of work, thus setting you back and just generally being a pain in the butt. So you drag yourself out of bed, run by the café on your way to class for a coffee or Redbull, and suck it up and get to class. Don’t let me put you off though - trust me, it can be done. And despite my words of ‘wisdom’, I will almost definitely do it again. Just make sure the night before is worth more than getting into bed at 8.30pm for an OITNB marathon. 

Olivia Bagnall

Olivia is a third-year PR student at Charles Sturt Uni. She enjoys red wine, movies and messing with her friends.

Image: Fe Ilya, Flickr Creative Commons license