Five lies we tell ourselves when we're in denial about dating a fuckboy
Despite the shitty behaviour, arrogance and overall immaturity, we’re all guilty of trying to win the attention of a fuckboy at some point. Instead of dropping them like they clearly deserve, we try to convince ourselves that a) they’re not a fuckboy or b) that we can somehow be the ones that change them. Unfortunately, we’ve all been there. These are the lies we tell ourselves when dealing with the worst kind of fuckboy.
“He’s just really busy at the moment.”
The classic fuckboy move is to string you along with constant messages, without actually following up on it up by organising a date. At most, he might invite you over to his late at night. Instead of warning bells ringing in your head, you make excuses. “He’s just got a lot on right now. He only has time to see me at night.” Instead of saying hell no to a booty call, it’s tempting to say yes when the chance to see him is so rare.
“He doesn’t like labels.”
Major cringe. The worse is when you start convincing yourself you don’t like labels either. The fuckboy will say he doesn’t believe in labels so he can continue to be non-committal and sleep with whoever he likes. He’ll make you aware of this right away so you don’t get any ideas that this could eventuate into a boyfriend situation. You’ll agree with him out loud and to others, but in your head you secretly hope to change this.
“He just needs some time to get over his ex.”
It’d be fair enough a week after the breakup, but when it’s getting to months down the track, you know he’s just making excuses. Or so you should. Instead, you make excuses for his excuses and decide it’s totally reasonable to give him some space. This will be less fun the further along it gets.
“I’m totally fine with this, I’m cool and breezy.”
The curse of the fuckboy will have you believing that you’re too needy. And the fuckboy hates girls like that – so you’re defs the opposite. You’ll adopt this “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and pretend like it’s not a big deal to keep seeing each other with zero commitment. You’re totally breezy, cool, whatever, no biggie.
You’ll tell yourself this, but dealing with this fuckboy over an extended period of time will start to bring you down. It’ll also prevent you from branching out to meet a nice guy who won’t fuck you around. If you’re not being respected, don’t feel like you have to be “totally cool” with it.
“I’m not like the other girls, it’s different with me.”
You might know of girls who’ve dated him in the past, or heard things through the grapevine. Other girls or even his guy friends might warn you that he’s a total commitaphobe fuckboy. But even when people are blatantly telling you, you won’t listen. “Things are different with me.” And you’re not just lying to yourself, you genuinely believe it. The compliments he gives you to keep you hooked will make you think you have a chance and you truly believe that in the other situations, it must have been the girl. Wrong, nope, nada – run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.