Five films that give us realistic expectations of sex
Most Hollywood films have left us with great sexpectations of what perfect sex looks like. But what exactly is the good, the bad and the ugly of sexual relationships? Films constantly convey their versions of sexual stigmas and repeatedly misinterpret the expectations of sex, both physically and emotionally. However, five recent(ish) films have captured the true essence of the taboo. Let’s talk about sex baby.
Friends with Benefits
It’ll never work out. It’s called “catching feelings” and it happens when you’re attracted to someone who you’ve been hanging out and having sex with. The movie is about two people who figure out they both want the same thing and agree to have a no strings attached sexual relationship. This is a common pre-constructed barrier to ease into the friends with benefits relationship, to assure each other this is purely for sex only. But there’s always someone who gets attached after intimacy, and in some cases both might be prone to catching feelings of love and attachment after sex.
This one is obvious. Always use protection kiddies. We all know there’s plenty of contraception out there and the pull-out method never works! But contraception isn’t a sexy topic and something we want to bring up when we are about to do the deed. But it has to be done, otherwise you could be worrying for a month on a false alarm, end up at an abortion clinic or, like in Juno, have to come to terms with being a new mummy or daddy.
It’s scary and we never think it could happen to us. Juno goes through the big rollercoaster of being a teen who’s pregnant, with all the downfalls it can bring to someone so young. Kudos to Juno’s parents though for being super chill about it!
This film is about a man who has a better relationship with porn than with sex. Porn can be healthy – it can give you some ideas of what you might like or what you want to try out. But having a one-sided affair with porn and not being able to emotionally give yourself to someone is an issue – and a big issue for Jon. It can corrupt relationships and be detrimental to your sexual encounters as porn isn’t realistic.
Comparing your sex life to porn can lead to disappointment. The same goes for romantic movies where the idea of falling in love is perfect or follows a specific Hollywood formula. Sex with someone takes practice for it to be mind-blowing and can be even better than what you’re watching under blankets.
The To-Do List
This movie is great! A virgin entering college with a big, fat to-do list of sexual doings. We all have (or had) our own sexual to-do lists, whether that’s locked up in our minds or in our secret diary… or even hung up with magnets on our fridge. It’s all part of the process of understanding what we want or what we like when it comes to sex. Trying new things is great – and there’s a lot you can do when it comes to sex. However, some of these things can be a letdown.
Just like Aubrey Plaza’s character Amber, sometimes we like to plan our sexual encounters. But most often it won’t go according to plan, and in some cases won’t be that enjoyable. From shower-head with Andy Samberg to cunnilingus with Gambino, much like our own lives, sexual adventures can either go well or awry.
This is actually a debate. Is monogamy legit or is it unnatural for human beings to commit to just one person their whole lives? As a child, Amy Schumer’s character (also named Amy), has a father who repeats to her that “Monogamy isn’t realistic” which encouraged Amy to grow up and enter a lifestyle of casual sex. Nothing wrong with that. However, having a very clear incentive to not fall for someone does hold you back from potential love.
Amy doesn’t want all the bells and whistles of love and relationships. The background of it all is that her father cheated on her mother, which probably formed a fear for Amy to enter into the ‘unnatural’ cycle of falling in love and getting married. Even if monogamy truly isn’t natural, it can be wonderful.
Claudia studies Media Arts and Production at the University of Technology, Sydney, is a major film and television fan and her favourite director is Quentin Tarantino.