Five dating trends every single person wishes didn’t exist
While the #singlelyf has its perks sometimes, unfortunately modern dating has to come along and ruin the fun. If you already think dating is daunting AF, these terrible dating trends will make you even more scared to put yourself out there and meet new people. Urgh. These are the modern dating trends that unfortunately exist and need to stop RN.
Whether you’re aware of the term or not, you’ve probs had this happen to you or done it to someone at some point. Ghosting is when you’ve been on a few dates with someone, texting fairly regularly, when at some point one person stops replying to messages and cuts off all communication.
If this has happened to you, you'll know how much it sucks to be on the receiving end. If you’ve done this to someone, it’s probs because you don’t know how to tell the person you’re not interested without sounding cruel. You’re not alone, we’ve all been there. Sending a text to break things off might seem harsh or even unnecessary if you’ve only been seeing each other a few weeks, but it’s so much less cruel than total silence.
Arguably even worse than ghosting, the dating term benching came about from a sports analogy. If you’ve been benched in a game, it means you’re still in the team but not in play – you’re just waiting on the coach to bring you back on.
Translated into the dating world, this is pretty brutal. If someone you’re dating isn’t that interested, instead of cutting off all communication like ghosting, they do the opposite. What they might do is start to tell you they’re busy a lot more often and see you a lot less, but they'll keep talking to you sporadically.
Your relationship status was never made clear and they won’t make an effort to clarify it. They don’t want to end the convo with you, but they’ll continue to date other people. When something better does come along, they’ll act innocent like you were never really dating and were just “having fun”. Do not be someone who benches someone else, it’s the ultimate dick move.
Similar to benching, breadcrumbing is the idea of stringing you along, but often over a much longer period of time. Unlike benching, with breadcrumbing you don’t have to necessarily be seeing someone – you may have just been flirty in the past or hooked up once.
It’ll often start like this – the breadcrumber will give you an ego boost by paying you a compliment on an Insta or FB photo. They’ll then spark up a messenger convo with you that is clearly flirty and suggestive. They’ll keep up the convo for a week before it dies down, and they’ll pick it back up again in a couple months.
Essentially, every time they interact with you (always online) they’re spreading “breadcrumbs” to keep you interested. There will always be a lull and a lack of willingness to actually meet up, until the opportunity arises for a booty call. You do not want to date a breadcrumber.
The IRL void
Thanks to dating apps like Tinder, the IRL void exists. This means that unlike the good ol’ days of even five years ago, it's becoming increasingly hard to meet people IRL because so many single people are relying on dating apps to meet people.
If you were hoping for a romantic rom-com moment of catching the eye of someone cute from across the bar, chances are that’s not going to happen cause everyone’s too busy looking at their phones. That means to stay in the dating game, you’ve got to hop on the dating app bandwagon.
The texting game
If you're single, you've probs experienced the struggle of the texting game. Most likely to happen in the ‘seeing each other’ stage of not quite dating yet, the texting game involves either or both parties trying too act cool, breezy and non-chalant. While that might not sound so bad, it often leads to sending and receiving texts responding days later as to not appear too eager.
This dating trend needs to end, seriously. If you’re interested in someone, who cares if you text back when you see the message? If the person does think it comes off as “too eager”, they’re not worth dating. If you stop going along with the mind games of texting, you might find the person you’re dating stops as well.