Every jerk you date has a silver lining

March 04, 2016
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It’s an inevitable event in your life and it happens to the best of us. Your judgement is clouded by a gorgeous smile or a high level of charisma and you find yourself being jerked around in pursuit of decent treatment that your chosen paramour is incapable of giving. We can almost guarantee that this “relationship” will blow up in your face in the foreseeable future, but you can deal with it if you know how.

The mourning period

With the failure of any relationship, there’s always a time of grieving to get over said person and/or the heinous crimes they’ve committed against you that follows shortly after. If your friends are aware of the emotional trauma you have experienced, they’ll understand your need to let loose and not give much thought to the consequences of your actions. If you need to retreat from society and lie in bed watching repeats of Friends and eating everything in the pantry, that’s totally fine. If you drink a little too much and end up with your head in a bucket, your friends will be there to rub your back and put you to bed. Take this time to get over it so you can efficiently get back to your normal life. Also take note of how brilliant your mates are.

Name bashing

Perhaps the best part of getting screwed over by a jerk is going out for drinks with your friends and having everyone participate in a full-blown, drunken bitch session. Their name is completely trashed in your circle and your friends no longer hold back their opinions, which are all varying degrees of knowing they were scum all along. As the vodkas keep flowing, every piece of gossip about this individual is revealed and fabulous forms of revenge are fantasized about. If it can’t be love leaving you feeling warm and fuzzy, then make it a well-earned name trashing ceremony.

Getting shit done

The best way to get over someone is to keep busy, so your mind will begin ticking over all the commitments and items you’re forever procrastinating from. When people ask you how you’ve been, you’ll be responding with, “I’ve been so busy at work!” Your job is suddenly your best friend and you will find yourself completing assignments more than one minute before they’re due. That old saying about ‘keeping busy’ is indeed true; weeks will pass by in a flurry of scheduled tasks and you simply won’t have time to stop and stalk said jerk’s Facebook profile.


After you’ve taken your time out from society in your mourning period because “people suck” and become too familiar with your bed, there will come a time when you emerge from your cave, take a shower and stop wasting your thoughts on your recent heartbreak. Whilst you’re going through the aforementioned phase of getting shit done, you’ll start to notice all that life really has to offer. There’s a whole world out there and you’ve got the rest of your life to experience it. You can literally take any direction you want. Start that creative project or save up for the trip of a lifetime; you’ve spent too much time already on someone who doesn’t care, and it’s time to live for yourself.

Increased standards and decreased tolerance

Perhaps the best thing about the whole experience of dating an A-class asshole is personal growth and realisation - you know, all that crap. Self-love is nothing to be ashamed of and will lead to improved choices. You now know you deserve so much better and will adopt a zero tolerance policy for anyone who will mistreat you, including friends or co-workers. Basically you have no more cares to give and no time for bullshit. It’s “new year, new me”, just without the new year. As Buddah experienced enlightenment, so will you about what you truly deserve in a relationship. 

Grace Potter

Grace studies Communications & Media at the University of Wollongong and is an avid fan of Harry Potter and coffee. 

Image: Justine ReyesFlickr Creative Commons license