Eight signs you've finally nailed uni life in your final semester

October 01, 2015
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There’s a meagre five weeks until the uni year finishes and for some that means graduation! Besides gearing up to take on what the big, bad world will throw at you, you realise that your uni days have also given you some life tips along the way.

Here are eight signs you’ve finally gotten the hang of things, albeit just before your days as a student are over.

You can down 10 cups of coffee in quick succession and NOT have a heart attack

While any medical professional with a shred of decency wouldn’t recommend it, this doesn’t mean it’s not possible. What else is going to keep you going as you bash away at your keyboard to hit word count when pulling an all-nighter before an assignment’s due?

Hangovers will never get the best of you

Pop quiz: what night are you most commonly found getting on the piss? Trick question! The answer is all nights.

Due to your wacky work and uni schedule, you’ll make make the most of any free night whether it’s Monday or Friday. In saying this, the monster hangover that awaits you the following morning is nothing to be feared. Because you can push through it all and make it to that 9am lecture like a pro, right? Right.

You can live a full life on shit food

And what we’re talking about is pretty dire here. No other group in society can be content with eating Mi Goreng for dinner every night. It’s a skill that’s going to be a lifesaver later on.

You love money but never have any

As stereotypical as it sounds, your bank account is never as full as it should be. Needless to say, when money ends up coming in as opposed to going out it’s a feeling that’s relished by you.

When you have money you spend it on stuff you shouldn't be

Who needs textbooks, readers and other important, education-related things when alcohol, McDonald’s and ridiculous novelty products that you’ll only use once exist?

You’re perfectly equipped to live with any type of person

Students go through roommates almost as fast as they go through goon sacks. During the course of your studies, you’ll probably live with an entire myriad of people, ranging from the lazy to the annoying to the straight-up alcoholic. If anything, this has only taught you how to adapt yourself to any living situation.

You’re basically MacGyver

Due to the never-ending drought in your bank account, you’ve been forced to think of new and exciting ways to achieve everyday tasks. For example, on more than one occasion one of my housemates has held his wet clothes in front of the oven. We also didn’t have a drawer in our new kitchen for cutlery, so we just put them all in old cups. The sky’s the limit, gang.

You’re a total bullshit artist

“Yeah I’ve done this week’s readings”, “I haven’t left this assignment to the last minute”, and “I swear I’m not drunk, I’m just wearing alcohol-scented deodorant” are well-known to you. Don’t bother denying it.

Jackson Langford

Jackson is studying a Bachelor of Communication degree at the University of Newcastle and is the rightful heir to the throne.

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