Eight Cards Against Humanity pairings that perfectly summarise uni life

November 16, 2015
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Everyone remembers where they were when they were first introduced to the game that defines our generation: Cards Against Humanity. It’s a game that brings out the worst in everyone as you discover that we all have a little (or a lot of) political incorrectness within us.

However, after many months playing the game relentlessly, you’ve probably discovered that not only will the next Happy Meal toy be Lady Gaga, but the game also speaks a lot about uni life in more ways than one.

What’s my secret power? A low standard of living

Students have a remarkable knack for making a pretty decent living on little money. On a weekly basis we generally operate on nothing more than 45 coffees and a few packets of mi goreng, but we’ll happily fork out $150 a week to live in a dingy little townhouse that’s falling apart at the seams. Not to mention the fact that we wake up most mornings nursing a hangover from hell and still manage to go about - or go about avoiding - our day-to-day activities. If students aren’t the secret superheroes of society, I don’t know who is.

For my next trick I will pull Free Samples out of The Bush

Like I said earlier, us students are a resourceful bunch and will find any way possible to avoid spending money while still eating reasonably well.

Jobs. Betcha can’t have just one!

Such is the life of someone who needs to pay for rent, utilities, food and student debt, but can’t work a fulltime job due to, you guessed it, study commitments. Therefore, if you really want to uphold a certain standard of living, sadly one source of income just isn’t going to cut it.

As my New Year’s resolution, I vow to give up Emotions

To be completely honest, this is the smartest New Year’s resolution you could ever make. Nothing will get you through another tough and exhausting year of uni like complete stoicism. Being emotionless is a hard task to achieve, but nothing feels better than making it through the year by feeling nothing at all.

It’s a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with Being a busy adult with many important things to do

You’re damn right it’s a pity. Don’t take your time at uni for granted, undergrad students. Adult life is equally, if not more, stressful than the blissful three or so years you’re experiencing right now.

A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50 per cent less sex after being exposed to Nickelback

Can’t argue with the stats, folks. If you feel like you’re not getting enough action, throw those old Nickelback records as far away as possible. Heck, it’s worth disposing of your entire laptop if even one song’s sitting in your iTunes.

In a world ravaged by crippling debt, our only solace is a slab of VB and a pack of durries

The words of a generation. Nothing speaks more about the student experience than owing a lot of money, and spending the money we do have on copious amounts of alcohol and getting royally plastered.

I drink to forget poor life choices

Sometimes it’s the simplest statements that speak to you most.

Jackson Langford

Jackson is studying a Bachelor of Communication degree at the University of Newcastle and is the rightful heir to the throne.

Image: Tom Bullock, Flickr Creative Commons license