Dating advice to disregard in your 20s

July 07, 2017
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While your coupled-up friends might have the good intention of passing on some wise words of dating advice, it’s not always wise to listen. What might have worked for them won’t always be the case for you, and sometimes it’s just a terrible idea that’s going to achieve the opposite effect of what you want. Here’s the advice to watch out for (and do the exact opposite).

You shouldn’t make the first move

Mostly spouted to women, but relevant to men as well. Either way, it's likely to be a friend telling you to play hard to get and “don’t be too eager”. But if you are eager to go out with someone, it isn’t something you should have to hide. More annoying is when it’s said to women because it’s the “guy’s job” to make the first move. Urg, screw that outdated advice. If you want to date someone, don’t just wait around for them to ask. The fear of rejection is daunting, but not as bad as the feeling of missing your chance.

Acting like you don't care will make them want you more

Acting like you’re too cool isn’t the way to someone’s heart. It’s only going to make them feel bad about themselves when they feel like you’re not interested. Of course like everything, there’s a balance to maintain. You probs don’t want to be all “I want to have your babies” on the first date, but maybe drop the cool act if, in reality, you actually have no chill. If you hide behind this nonchalant visage, you won’t actually get to show your true self.

Only have sex on the [insert number here] date

This is dumb – regardless of what number they give you. Sure, you can benefit from waiting longer and getting to know each other’s bodies better, but also who cares if you have sex on the first date if you want to. There is no special formula that will make someone like you more – if they like you (regardless of whether you’re sleeping together), they’re going to want to see you again.

Lower your standards

Why should we have to lower our standards and settle for less? Hell no. We’d rather be single than with someone average. If you’re single, you’re probs tired of hearing that your standards are too high. We all like to complain about single sometimes – but there are perks to it as well. If we’re having a bit of a whine about being single, we don’t need you to tell us it’s because we could be dating a whole bunch of sub-standard people tbh.

Don’t message back straight away

This is so ingrained in society that we’re no longer surprised that this is dating advice. You may have abided by it in the past, but we’re here to argue that you shouldn’t. We are tired of the back and forth messaging that means it takes so long to get to know someone because they’re replying hours or even days later. If you’re worried that messaging back 10 minutes later will make you look too eager or too available, any person who would care about that is probs not worth your time.

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