Dating advice our mums gave us that we should actually listen to

April 19, 2017
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When you’re 16 and dating for the first time, the last person you want to talk to about boys with is your mum. If you were anything like me, you wanted to hide the fact that you were dating from your mum because you didn’t want to deal with embarrassing questions or, even worse, the awkward sex talk. Although at the time you probably shrugged off her dating advice with a moody “She doesn’t understand!”, these are the pearls of wisdom you’ll come to appreciate in your 20s.

You can’t change that bad boy

A classic mum line. The last thing she wanted was for you to be dating a bad influence, but most importantly she didn’t want your heart to be broken. So of course, who did we choose to like? The bad boys. We most definitely think we can change them. But when you have to deal with your first heartbreak from a bad-boy type, you learn from that experience. Instead of trying to win the affections of a fuckboy, go after the nice guy. They don’t need changing.

Guys aren’t everything

This is the advice she told you after you came home crying after your first breakup. At the time, it was so painful. But now, you can think back on that first relationship and understand the hurt, but know it wasn’t the end of the world. You can now look at that advice and know that it rings true for when you're single. You can have a great group of friends and be working towards your dream career and know your life is just fine without a boyfriend. And if you do have one, you know that it doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t) take up your whole life.

Look at how he treats others

He might be the sweetest guy ever to you – but that doesn’t make him a sweet person. Consider how he treats your friends and his own friends, and the opinion they hold of him. Even consider how he treats wait staff when you’re at a restaurant at a bar. If he’s rude af and even embarrasses you, is that really the guy you see yourself with? Mum was right once again.

If something doesn’t feel right, don’t force it

We know mother dearest was really alluding to the dreaded sex talk, we just didn’t want to acknowledge it at the time. This goes for both sex and relationships – the whole “Don’t do it if you don’t feel ready” isn’t just applicable for your first time. If you’re dating someone and something feels off, or they try to make something happen on the first date when you really don’t want to, go with your gut instinct. If they’re trying to force something, that’s not who you want to be with.

It may have taken a few mistakes to figure out that my Mum was right all along, but I’m eternally grateful for her dating wisdom.

Image: Gilmore Girls