Avoid being a JAFFY in your first year on campus

February 24, 2016
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You’re heading to uni, and it's going to be your first year on campus. Exciting times. During your time there you'll probably hear the term JAFFY bandied about, either directed at you (if you're not playing it cool) or at another uni newbie. Here's the thing: JAFFY is not a term of endearment. It's a little less like 'just another fabulous first-year', and a little more like, well… you know. To help you avoid total embarrassment, here are a few hints and tips to keep you safe.

Make America great again…

IF you're the type of person who feels guilty when they don't fill in a survey, or easily surrenders five bucks to an acquaintance trying to kick-start their DJ career, then this advice is for you. Don't go to the campus centre during the election period! Whether it be federal , state or student society elections, just don't go - seriously. You'll walk in for a coffee and walk out 30 minutes later without said coffee due to severe political harassment by some overly keen student reps. They may try to compliment you on your facial hair or the state of your Vans, but don't be fooled - they just want your vote. (And to make the country/state/campus better.)

Appreciate a shorter week

When it comes time for picking your classes and you're one of the lucky few who doesn't get auto-allocated lectures Monday to Friday (shout-out to my science fam), please, pick the minimum amount of days possible. Sure, you want that full uni experience, but you'll be jaded after one semester of bleeding for your myki, Opal or equivalent every day, as well as on-campus snacks if you forget yours. There are plenty of opportunities to make friends and hit up the society sausage sizzles on a two to three-day timetable.

Why are you running? Innocent people don't run!

OK, seriously, let's throw back for a second. Remember when you were in year seven with a backpack twice your size, and you were running to class because the bell just rang and you didn't want to get in trouble? Everyone had a laugh at that. That's what you'll look like if you run to class at uni, except now you're an adult so it looks even more ridiculous.

That being said, there are some exceptions to this rule. It's OK to run if it's a tute where groups are being assigned for an assessment (you’d better be running real quick), or you're late to an exam. That's it. Your lectures are probably being recorded anyway.

No question is a stupid question… except most questions

Oh boy, this is a big one. Don't ask simple questions - seriously, all your problems are likely to be solved by a cursory Google search. You're at university, so the ability to research is essential and pretty much the key to survival. If you don't know where the toilet is, follow the signs, and if you need to go to the toilet in class, just go. That phase of your life where you have to ask for permission to go to the toilet is over, so rejoice. If you can't find your room, try the Lost on Campus app. Also, please don't call your tutor “mum”…

Don't be a tracksuit athlete

This is an easy one, and it'll probably save you plenty of money as a bonus. All you have to do is avoid buying uni-branded trackies and hoodies from your campus store - simple. Unless you're a legitimate Olympian, these things are best avoided. All set, champ. 

Harrison Johnstone

A country kid at heart with city slicking aspirations in his head, Harrison is an aspiring journalist, video editor and human being. 

Image: uclu photosoc, Flickr Creative Commons license